


Fear.

by sanctipeccator



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Character Study, Fear of Death, How Do I Tag, Revenant not Being Revenant, Revenant thinking about being afraid?, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24593440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctipeccator/pseuds/sanctipeccator
Summary: Revenant had overcome that fear, because he no longer felt life, because in his eyes there was nothing but an artificial light that swore death in every yellow glow.Because he's not alive anymore.
Kudos: 12





	Fear.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language, so if there are grammatical errors or errors in general, notify me in the comments, thank you!

He lived long enough to know how fragile the human body is. He knew it, perfectly he did, the way in which perhaps in a fraction of seconds the flesh easily breaks, the bones crack and the blood overflows.

Time marks the end of someone in a blink.

He's been through that before, when he had near-death experiences, when he was still flesh and blood, when he was real.  
Remember the wounds, the pain of them, even though they healed, there was always a fear that they wouldn't, or that I wouldn't even know if they would heal in the future.

That fear digs the skin, eats you inside and generates the annoying itch that dances in every corner of the body. That fear that makes you sweat cold and breathe uncoordinated.

Revenant had overcome that fear, because he no longer felt life, because in his eyes there was nothing but an artificial light that swore death in every yellow glow.

Because he's not alive anymore.

If you ask him, he came to the Apex games to kill, to erase that infernal void of lifelessness and fulfill his purpose. To take out his accumulated anger and download it into his deletions.

Revenant says that he doesn't care about his teammates, that he works better alone, that he doesn't need to have fragile skin bags that hinder his way to victory. But, he cannot prevent a spark of concern from invading his system when he heals his teammates, every time he sees them die, even if he knows that they will come back, that he will see them after each match, he cannot prevent a feeling too human for his taste from invading him, that feeling he has not felt for more than a lot of years, a thing that lies forgotten in his mind.

The fear of someone dying, because he couldn't save them.

He fears that one day it's going to happend, as it did more than thirty years ago, to see life disappear from someone's eyes, to see how that light goes out slowly, how death stops time and claims a life, how the last breath escapes from the lips until the body becomes heavier, goes out, goes out, dies. And the worst thing about watching every damn second of that is not being able to do anything about it.

All because he didn't arrive in time.  
But now he has time, damn it he has so much time to get there and maybe save them from falling into the arms of death.

Although he acknowledges, but refuses to accept the fact that perhaps, someday there will be an error, that the system did not work and they will not return, but it will not be his fault, although he will not be able to avoid thinking that if he had arrived on time, he could have saved them, and that way they would not have gone in the first place.

And he cannot help but be angry at that fact, which is why he prefers to act this way in front of his companions, saying that he despises them, that he prefers them dead rather than on their way, and he does so because he wants to cover up at all costs the fact that in a moment they will leave, and he will not have time to save them.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language, so if there are grammatical errors or errors in general, notify me in the comments, thank you!


End file.
